You can imagine our delight on December 6, 2004, after 3 months of growing Isabella on the outside we took our incredibly healthy, seemingly giant 5 lb. 12 ounce baby girl home. The next four days would be sheer bliss. We never put her down and sat in our new living room, babe in arms, looking out over the Pacific Ocean and feeling an indescribable state of joy.

On Friday evening, December 10, just 4 days later, we were watching on TV the Christmas show, “Prancer;” the movie ended as Santa crossed the sky and simultaneously, Baby Isabella left our world peacefully in her Mommy's arms. The hours and days that followed were nothing less than sheer agony. Her Daddy administered a heroic attempt at CPR and shortly thereafter we found ourselves at Children's Hospital. Some 24 hours later, amidst family and friends, we would set her spirit free to our singing voices.

We have learned many things… You cannot move through this kind of pain without a deep relationship with God. Nor can you move through this kind of pain without the support of family and friends. We are blessed… we have both.

SIDS is a devastating disease that randomly steals hundreds of babies in California and thousands of babies nationwide each year. It is a disease that has been a mystery to humanity and doctors since 950 BC. It is no one's fault. You cannot prevent it. It is not hereditary and you cannot save a baby from it, not even if they are in the hospital when it happens.

It is easy to be angry when we go to a place of unrealized expectations. Isabella will never grace the stage as a baby snowflake. She will not enjoy our walks down to the beach to play in the sand and experience all the wonders that go along with growing up with Mommy and Daddy. After 3 months of enduring the intensive care and all those unimaginable tests, tubes and wires to have only 4 days at home “unplugged” seems so very cruel.

Selfishly, we will never be able to fulfill our expectations as her parents, to hear her voice, to know what it would have been like to take her to Kindergarten and to be able to love her through all those experiential wonders that go along with growing up. I waited 23 years to have another baby and to enjoy her for only 96 days seems to be less than fair.

And so we look for another perspective; this is only possible when we “turn the other cheek.” When we seek spiritual guidance the answers are humbling. Perhaps you believe in Angels? One of Isabella's neonatologists called Isabella a Bodhisattva. In the Tibetan Buddhist tradition this title is reserved for an enlightened soul that delays Nirvana (entering heaven) and returns to Earth to help other souls. Sounds like an Angel to me.

When we dwell with these thoughts it feels apparent that Isabella lived and fulfilled her own expectations with grace and purpose. Blessed are we to have been able to assist our daughter in her life mission for family unity. To create “Isabella's Giraffe Club,” to be of service to others has been added to her credits. We live our lives partnered with an angel that leaves us not broken hearted but with hearts cracked wide open.

While we heal, and we will heal, to identify with and become the pain rather than move through it would be to waste the sacrifice of this precious soul we call Isabella. We wish to extend our intention to make Isabella's premature birth and transition an opportunity to bring deeper meaning to all of our lives. May we all be transformed for the better by this tiny body with such a big message. God is all there is. God is Love and with God, All things are Possible. So Dream Bigger, Love Unconditionally, Do More and get out there and Live on Purpose.

Thank you for visiting our tiny corner of the world!

With our friendship and light,
Angela, Drew, and Isabella